They are running out of toy ideas

Unicorns are just goats that broke a horn off.

I was cutting through the toy department at Fred Meyer but these unicorns stopped me in my tracks. These unicorns “really poop!” Why is that a good thing? I guess it draws attention away from the fact that they all look like Miss Piggy going to a rave.

If I was a department store Santa, I would say “You’ll poop your eye out kid!” and then shove the little tyke down the slide.

Posted in Mildly Interesting

Craft lady is disturbing

My wife put this book in the Goodwill box. It’s a step in the right direction. I couldn’t quite figure out why the lady on the cover makes me nervous, aside from the fact that she is bursting out of the photo with a glue gun in one hand, and scissors in the other, and has a smile that says “I’m so angry that I’ve lost my mind!!” Even more disturbing… I think she is this girl’s mom;
Posted in Mildly Interesting

Golden Girls chia? Thank you for being a friend.

Dorothy! I have an eco-system on my head!
I was doing a little Christmas shopping today and found this Sophia from the Golden Girls Chia pet. It was sitting on an unrelated end cap, apparently someone changed their mind. The expression on Sophia’s face supports this theory. Last year they had a Bob Ross. It seems that they choose people with hair that is similar in texture to the plant. This is why you won’t see a Kojak Chia pet.
Posted in Mildly Interesting

Yes, we have no bananas

Nothing sadder than this shriveled wretch of a banana tree.

I chopped down the ornamental banana tree by our front door today, as we are in for a cold spell, I put a tarp over the root and a bunch of banana leaves, grass clippings, and beauty bark over that. 

That was such an ordeal, I left the other two alone for now, to fend for their own selves. They sure look sad this time of year. I think they are Musa Basjoo, and I get conflicting information on how to help them survive the winter. This is our first winter at this house, and the lady across the street says that the former owner never did anything at all to those plants. When we moved in it looked like the set of “Gilligan’s Island” out there.

This is a cross section of a banana tree trunk. It looks kinda like an onion from a poorly run hamburger stand. I think the black stripe is from my brushwhacker blade. Probably all the rain we have been getting caused it to be all slimy and nasty looking.

Posted in Mildly Interesting, The postcards

Daring daylight robbery

Here’s a postcard from the sleepy little town of Oil City, Pennsylvania – but wait! In the lower right, you can clearly see three ex-convicts in drag preparing to rob the post office- doesn’t seem like that would be a lucrative target, but what do I know; the only thing I have stolen is my wife’s heart. The sender wrote, among other things;
“…Am working hard this summer. No joking, I am working 10 hrs. a day and most of the time with a pick and a shovel at that. It certainly does me good.”

He’s a better man than me, I would be whining like a loose fan belt if I had to use a pick and shovel for 10 yours, in the hot Pennsylvania August sun.

Posted in Mildly Interesting

What is this thing?

My father passed away last year, he had a lot of neat old tools. A master craftsman, he was also a problem solver. My question is, what problem is this widget solving? It’s a little wedge shaped thing with an attached short dowel that can easily be rotated, but will stay in position when it’s not being manipulated. If anyone has a clue, I am all ears. Nobody in the family had even a wild guess.

Posted in Mildly Interesting

Ollie Hopnoodle’s Haven of Bliss

It’s finally on YouTube! Years ago, I went online and bought what I thought was a DVD of this movie, but it was just a copy of the (rare) VHS.

Ollie Hopnoodle’s Haven of Bliss follows the Parker family from A Christmas Story as they go on their annual summer vacation, narrated by the author of these stories, Gene Shepherd, as well. All different actors of course, I especially like Dorothy Lyman playing the mom. (Naomi from Mama’s Family? Remember? Geez do you even own a television?)

The PBS network was involved in the production of this made for TV movie, so I suspect you had to pledge X amount to get the VHS tape and probably a tote bag. The Haven of Bliss on YouTube is actually of better quality than the stupid bootleg DVD they sent me.

Posted in Flotsam, Grey Gardens West, Mildly Interesting

Mystery Barrel SOLVED

I got this at one of those antique/cool junk malls yesterday. The idea in my head was to use it as part of a whimsical Rube Goldberg garden irrigation system, it didn’t have the little wooden tap so I didn’t realize it was actually a decanter from the 1970’s. Come to think of it, if someone partook of the evil week, they could probably make a bong or a hookah? But I digress.

Posted it to the subreddit “What is this” and very quickly got an answer and a link.
Decanter with spigot
I am thinking about getting a wooden tap for it and shellacking the heck out of that because it will be outside.