Posted in Flotsam, Friends and Kin

The We’ll See ashtray

This was my dad’s ashtray that was next to his recliner, usually for cigar ashes. I remember when I was a kid, right around the time of the moon landing,

I got an Estes model rocket catalog in the mail. So I made a pitch to invest in some of these highly educational and inexpensive rockets. Dad took the catalog and looked at it for a few minutes, handed it back to me. He took a long pull on his cigar, looked at me and said the words I dreaded; “We’ll see.”

It is no wonder that I am not working for Raytheon or Rockwell as a highly skilled propulsion systems engineer.

Posted in Flotsam

The Goodwill store challenge

We were dropping off stuff at the Goodwill the other day, so of course we had to drive around front, go in and buy more crap. On a whim, I vowed to find and purchase the weirdest item they had.

Mission accomplished! A lamp with a western desert cactus shade, but a base reminiscent of a pineapple, I think. I texted some people and they said “That’s cool!” and “What a find!” – I am sure they were just humoring me. It’s hollow for hiding whatever drug I was on when I bought it. Then again, it had a pink tag and thus marked down to $2.00 – The lamp not the drugs.

Posted in Flotsam, This explains everything

EEEEEE!!

Playing Wordfeud with my sister. I have a really lousy hand here, there are five E tiles! I’ve almost cornered the market on the letter E for this game, the whole set only has 12. Should I hoard them to deny her access? Hate to swap tiles, but there is not much to work with here. I should go play Scrabble in the bathroom, because I’m about to have a vowel movement.

BY THE WAY… How is it that (Parker Brothers? Hasbro?) hasn’t sued them? Is it because of the minor differences, such as the ability to put nonsense words up repeatedly until something sticks, or the crazy “random” board my sister Evelyn likes to play, where a person can get a seemingly insurmountable lead on the first turn? Or the frustrating inability to flip the board over and run out of the room crying?

Maybe they worked out some kind of deal. Anyway, I’m really glad it’s there, I really appreciate the chance to prove that at least two of my siblings, and now my nephew, they are all much smarter than me. It really brightens my day. Sometimes I manage to win against a guy from work, but he is 22 and his girlfriend recently moved in with him, so his mind isn’t really in the game.

Posted in Flotsam

We didn’t start the fire

Teresa gets a bit carried away with the “Arts and Crafts” sometimes. My son is appalled, this used to be his favorite toy fire truck. It survived so many imaginary emergencies when he was a kid, this is just disrespectful.

Posted in Flotsam, Mildly Interesting

Worst. Party. Ever.

I was thinking about surprising my wife with a birthday party this year. Our living room is not configured to have people hiding behind the sofa. I found this handy party game book for up to 20 guests to play, with three fun games inside!
Here’s the first game, think up the longest name for each letter on the chart. Seems more like a baby shower game to me, but whatever.
I wasn’t expecting to take the SAT exam at your party.

This game is more of a pop quiz from fifth grade history, but the booze is free here. I can answer most of these. It helps if George Gobel from the old Hollywood Squares show is haunting your house.


Wait, what is this? No, you can’t use Google. Leaving so soon? The party is just starting! We haven’t even played “Twister” yet!
Posted in Flotsam

Our neighbors, Tarzan and Francis the Talking Mule

Library card from "Our American Neighbors"

Here’s an old textbook from a yard sale. It’s sort of reassuring that previous generations also knew how to annoy the librarians.

I think all the entries after Nyla Sperlick and before Tom Ranken are the same kid, a kid who lived in a house with a television I presume… He checked out the book for “Dragnet” in 1954, then “Francis”, I presume he means the talking mule, as his address is “Stall 3 1/2” (Adding the fraction makes it funnier- this kid is a comedy genius).

Who knows why the date is 1868 on that one. Then back to 600 B.C. for Tarzan at cave 6D ( Picture a cave apartment – maybe Tarzan will bring Jane up to show her his etchings! ) Then five years later, Tarzan checks out this book again, but now he’s moved to “Cave 91”.

We can only hope that this kid got into advertising or some such lucrative endeavor, rather than getting electroshock therapy.