I have started to notice a cyclical trend of product mascots, and it’s not pretty.
Take this Vanilla Poptart Mascot. I don’t know his name, but he doesn’t look well. Look at his eyes! And he’s shivering. The tiny gloves and ill-fitting wool hat are not much help when you are sitting on a block of ice.
Maybe they should have instead, I dunno, a muscular superhero named “Cal See-um” warm him up with concentric rings of toaster heat?
As I recall, I used to eat the vanilla ones cold. Life is short and brutal when you’re a breakfast pastry.
PS I looked on Amazon, did you know there are over 25 flavors of Pop Tarts? That’s 50 if you butter half of them.
Gasoline Alley Wisdom
The guy with the junk wagon always has good advice. I think it’s from smoking a pipe.
I have been reading “Gasoline Alley” since I was old enough to snap the rubber band and carefully remove the half-page tire store ad on the Sunday edition. Once in a while there is a nugget of true wisdom in the comics, and it’s almost always dispensed by a crotchety old guy, or a little kid. Sometimes Henry would make me think, and he never said a word.
We have been sort of confined to quarters by bad weather, so to keep from going all REDRUM! we have been playing Pictionary.
Now, every time we open the Pictionary box, I am confronted by the the drawings from earlier games. This picture is pretty obviously “Deodorant”…
… But this one took a while to remember… It looks like a German Shephard with a giant fly on his back, as viewed through a window. Then I noticed the horse footprints, and remembered, it’s a “Trojan Horse”. I shouldn’t have tried to draw a gift box around him.
Tonight, I sort of had the opportunity to cheat, Frank drew a line, and being a smart Alec I yelled LINE! And Frank exclaimed “He guessed it!” Teresa and Daphne wanted to know how I guessed it from just a line! I was confused by this, turns out the word was “Lion”. Everybody ganged up on me then and made me spit out my gum.
I know most people don’t care about my goofy postcard collecting hobby, but it’s a big internet, maybe somebody does. I like the whole “Jackalope” thing that went on in the 30’s, this is a variation on that, cowpokes riding jackrabbits, I guess the mustangs were all in the shop. One thing the sender wrote that I liked;
“Glenn & I will be so fat when we return that you won’t know us. We are being stuffed. I’ll tell you all about it later.”
Yeah, if you manage to escape your jackrabbit overlords.
Good grief, this is what they actually thought in the early fifties…
Some day we may even have small computers in our homes, drawing their energy from electric-power lines like refrigerators or radios … They may recall facts for us that we would have trouble remembering. They may calculate accounts and income taxes. Schoolboys with homework may seek their help. They may even run through and list combinations of possibilities that we need to consider in making important decisions. We may find the future full of mechanical brains working about us. – Edmund Berkeley
What a ridiculous concept! I’m sure we will have such a machine soon… …In Rainbow and Gumdrop land!
I was having a bowl of Golden Grahams, reading the back of the cereal box (Having forgotten to bring my cellphone downstairs); I was momentarily confused by this horrifying mish-mash of puzzles and weird graphics.
Since when does the Trix rabbit have a driver’s license? He’s already veering into oncoming traffic. I got such a headache from looking at it, and couldn’t download the blippy app or whatever – having left the cellphone upstairs.
I found this little roadrunner novelty souvenir at a thrift store a few years ago.
He’s a cute little guy… just a little roadrunner doll, made in Japan. At least, I hope it’s just a doll. I can’t imagine capturing and going through whatever the taxidermy process is on a baby roadrunner, would be economical.
Continue reading “Be careful what you wish for, coyote.”
I was perusing the local free newspaper a while back and was stopped in my tracks by this enticing coupon. Haggen’s is a little upscale for our budget, but this $5 off $25 coupon should get us and many of the other riff-raff in the door. We’ll probably buy some gourmet mustard, or hot dogs infused with Parmesan cheese.
Their mascot looks like something straight out of a Simpson’s or even Family Guy. Like a Freshman in high school, he’s trying way too hard to be cool, and it’s sort of backfiring on him. I think it’s the backwards hat that did him in. At least his pants aren’t sagging.
Is Splash the Otter going to be at this event? I would go just to see some poor guy in the parking lot, sporting an Otter costume.
BTW, don’t they realize that Otters are part of the weasel family? Would you buy groceries from a weasel?
My family laughs at me because I am always singing the praises of our Kohler Cimmaron upstairs toilet. It truly is a “throne”. We bought it several years ago, and except for the time Teresa knocked a box of bathroom junk from the shelf above into the gaping maw, it has worked flawlessly.
The trick when buying a toilet is to open the box at the hardware store and feel around in the neck where the little jet is, and make sure the porcelain is smooth down there. I rejected I think four toilets before I finally found a smooth one; I would have given up sooner but they were having a really good sale, probably factory seconds on these ones?? …and I had already dragged my old toilet down the stairs.
Did you know that the pipe within the toilet that curves to keep the water in there between flushes, is called the ”Colon”? I know!! I was shocked too. Google it if you don’t believe me!