Posted in Mildly Interesting

Sad cold poptart

I have started to notice a cyclical trend of product mascots, and it’s not pretty.
Take this Vanilla Poptart Mascot. I don’t know his name, but he doesn’t look well. Look at his eyes! And he’s shivering. The tiny gloves and ill-fitting wool hat are not much help when you are sitting on a block of ice.
Maybe they should have instead, I dunno, a muscular superhero named “Cal See-um” warm him up with concentric rings of toaster heat?
As I recall, I used to eat the vanilla ones cold. Life is short and brutal when you’re a breakfast pastry.

PS I looked on Amazon, did you know there are over 25 flavors of Pop Tarts? That’s 50 if you butter half of them.

Posted in Mildly Interesting

Cereal Mascots on the prowl

I was having a bowl of Golden Grahams, reading the back of the cereal box (Having forgotten to bring my cellphone downstairs); I was momentarily confused by this horrifying mish-mash of puzzles and weird graphics.

Since when does the Trix rabbit have a driver’s license? He’s already veering into oncoming traffic. I got such a headache from looking at it, and couldn’t download the blippy app or whatever – having left the cellphone upstairs.

Posted in Mildly Interesting

WHIMSICAL OTTER WEARS BASEBALL CAP BACKWARDS

I was perusing the local free newspaper a while back and was stopped in my tracks by this enticing coupon. Haggen’s is a little upscale for our budget, but this $5 off $25 coupon should get us and many of the other riff-raff in the door. We’ll probably buy some gourmet mustard, or hot dogs infused with Parmesan cheese.

Their mascot looks like something straight out of a Simpson’s or even Family Guy. Like a Freshman in high school, he’s trying way too hard to be cool, and it’s sort of backfiring on him. I think it’s the backwards hat that did him in. At least his pants aren’t sagging.

Is Splash the Otter going to be at this event? I would go just to see some poor guy in the parking lot, sporting an Otter costume.

BTW, don’t they realize that Otters are part of the weasel family? Would you buy groceries from a weasel?