Never Jet Hot

Random observations from some old dude

Sad cold poptart

I have started to notice a cyclical trend of product mascots, and it’s not pretty.
Take this Vanilla Poptart Mascot. I don’t know his name, but he doesn’t look well. Look at his eyes! And he’s shivering. The tiny gloves and ill-fitting wool hat are not much help when you are sitting on a block of ice.
Maybe they should have instead, I dunno, a muscular superhero named “Cal See-um” warm him up with concentric rings of toaster heat?
As I recall, I used to eat the vanilla ones cold. Life is short and brutal when you’re a breakfast pastry.

PS I looked on Amazon, did you know there are over 25 flavors of Pop Tarts? That’s 50 if you butter half of them.

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