Posted in Mildly Interesting

Cereal Mascots on the prowl

I was having a bowl of Golden Grahams, reading the back of the cereal box (Having forgotten to bring my cellphone downstairs); I was momentarily confused by this horrifying mish-mash of puzzles and weird graphics.

Since when does the Trix rabbit have a driver’s license? He’s already veering into oncoming traffic. I got such a headache from looking at it, and couldn’t download the blippy app or whatever – having left the cellphone upstairs.

Posted in Mildly Interesting

WHIMSICAL OTTER WEARS BASEBALL CAP BACKWARDS

I was perusing the local free newspaper a while back and was stopped in my tracks by this enticing coupon. Haggen’s is a little upscale for our budget, but this $5 off $25 coupon should get us and many of the other riff-raff in the door. We’ll probably buy some gourmet mustard, or hot dogs infused with Parmesan cheese.

Their mascot looks like something straight out of a Simpson’s or even Family Guy. Like a Freshman in high school, he’s trying way too hard to be cool, and it’s sort of backfiring on him. I think it’s the backwards hat that did him in. At least his pants aren’t sagging.

Is Splash the Otter going to be at this event? I would go just to see some poor guy in the parking lot, sporting an Otter costume.

BTW, don’t they realize that Otters are part of the weasel family? Would you buy groceries from a weasel?

Posted in Grey Gardens West

Let’s talk about toilets!

My family laughs at me because I am always singing the praises of our Kohler Cimmaron upstairs toilet. It truly is a “throne”. We bought it several years ago, and except for the time Teresa knocked a box of bathroom junk from the shelf above into the gaping maw, it has worked flawlessly.

The trick when buying a toilet is to open the box at the hardware store and feel around in the neck where the little jet is, and make sure the porcelain is smooth down there. I rejected I think four toilets before I finally found a smooth one; I would have given up sooner but they were having a really good sale, probably factory seconds on these ones?? …and I had already dragged my old toilet down the stairs.

Did you know that the pipe within the toilet that curves to keep the water in there between flushes, is called the ”Colon”? I know!! I was shocked too. Google it if you don’t believe me!

Posted in The postcards

Trouble in paradise

Honestly, I have no idea what is going on here. The guy with the giant plaid butt, the Va-va-voom lady, and even the skinny guy in the closet, they all seem to be angry about something. The images this scene conjures are deeply disturbing.

Posted in The postcards

Beach Ball Bingo

So many things wrong with this. Everybody is wearing hideous clothing, even for beachwear- And this lady is walking(?) on the sand in HIGH HEELS. How?

I don’t blame her for being upset at the gentleman who mistook her butt for a beach ball. Kind of overkill to turn his eye into an octothorp though.

Posted in Flotsam

Our neighbors, Tarzan and Francis the Talking Mule

Library card from "Our American Neighbors"

Here’s an old textbook from a yard sale. It’s sort of reassuring that previous generations also knew how to annoy the librarians.

I think all the entries after Nyla Sperlick and before Tom Ranken are the same kid, a kid who lived in a house with a television I presume… He checked out the book for “Dragnet” in 1954, then “Francis”, I presume he means the talking mule, as his address is “Stall 3 1/2” (Adding the fraction makes it funnier- this kid is a comedy genius).

Who knows why the date is 1868 on that one. Then back to 600 B.C. for Tarzan at cave 6D ( Picture a cave apartment – maybe Tarzan will bring Jane up to show her his etchings! ) Then five years later, Tarzan checks out this book again, but now he’s moved to “Cave 91”.

We can only hope that this kid got into advertising or some such lucrative endeavor, rather than getting electroshock therapy.